I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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