Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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