SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
