Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
