Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
