ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
