now i know why i became what i already was.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
