But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
