Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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