what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
