When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
