You just made me feel so damn special
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
