I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
