I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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