sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it glows. i had to have it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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