im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
