If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize