I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My ass is underappreciated
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
