I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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