I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
