I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
