that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
