Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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