She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
