it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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