If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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