Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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