oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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