I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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