Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
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