I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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