I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
