I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
