I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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