before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
