I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
