i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Never joke about your clitoris.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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