sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
