The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
