Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
