I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
