whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
