I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
