He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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