four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
