i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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