is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
