i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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