Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
