It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
