There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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