evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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