I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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