I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
