im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
