so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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