Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
