My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
