He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I licked your asshole in confidence.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
