I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
