If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
