none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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