Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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